Letter to Koren

Dear Koren, Hi Koren, my name is Erika Fields and I’ve just finished your autobiography Smashed. This book was very different in content then books I normally read but also very interesting. I enjoyed the descriptive words and the techniques you used to draw readers in to different situations, a lot of time I felt like I was there, present in some situations due to the realistic approach you used. Although the book was interesting and kept my attention there is one question that I kept asking myself throughout the text, which is ‘why did you feel you had to resort to the abuse of alcohol’. One might say “well didn’t you read the book? It explained all that in the text” but I feel like you didn’t. There was never a real reason or traumatic incident in my opinion that would explain why you took the route you took. You had a dual parent home, pretty well off financially (in my opinion from the readings), and really didn’t want for nothing and I don’t ever remember reading about you being sexually molested as a child, or living in an environment that would lead to substance abuse, nor were you under much stress so its kind of weird that you would all of a sudden just began drinking and let it lead to the level you were once at. Of course I know peer pressure (initially began with Natalie) but that still doesn’t explain it all for me. I remember specifically in the book you said “I won’t know how to tell them (parents) it was a suicidal impulse that drove me out windows” and when I read that it puzzled my mind because I couldn’t understand why you were suicidal to begin with. I pondered different reasons and thought about how this was the grunge period with Nirvana’s lyrics scream out to teens explicit things often referring to drugs and suicide. I know for me sometimes songs can influence my mood or ways of thinking but never to the point to inflict pain or danger on myself. I don’t mean to sound so critical and I hope I’m not making you feel uncomfortable with my questions and speculations but I’m just a little unclear about this. Perhaps I missed something or just focusing to much on this particular issue but as a psychology major I can’t help but to want to know the cause of your abuse. I would appreciate if you would write me to clarify this for me but would understand completely if you did not wish to respond. I thank you for putting your book out for girls who might be going through the same thing you underwent and I hope to hear from you soon. Erika Fields