Work Addiction and the Effects it has on the Family

*Watch Clip before reading*

No other addiction is so willingly adopted, rewarded and praised by society as the addiction to work. It can prove quite a complicated issue, as the individual may have to incorporate looking after their family, and trying to meet all their needs. Workaholism is an addictive pattern like any other addiction. Some people get an adrenaline high from juggling four or five commitments, taking care of others or simply being busy or being the first person in the office in the morning or being the last to leave in the evening. Maybe they think that this is what is expects of them, sadly this is sometimes true. Common symptoms among workaholics may be forgetfulness or inattention, with awareness impaired by stress and fatigue. So what is behind this desire to push ourselves to the very limit, sometimes risking all we have - health, family, friends? The roots are often in our, unfulfilled or unmet needs, the feeling within us is that we have to achieve a certain standard, or amount of work before we can become accepted as a person (especially as women). The belief of a workaholic is that we are of little worth on our own. Taking the responsibility ourselves, not leaving it with others, and finding out what is pushing us gives us the tools to change. Often times people may have feelings of low self esteem, or of inadequacy, believing nothing they ever do or be good enough, the result is that they keep striving trying to do more and better. Work may also provide some with temporary relief from pain from a broken relationship, or from boredom or guilt or many other feelings they may want to avoid. It’s obvious that work addiction may be caused by many factors depending on the person, now in this blog I will show what types of effects this type of addiction can have on the family.

Society puts pressure on people and often measures women by what we do, rather than by who/how we are and what we believe. Our job becomes more important than the actual characteristics of a person. Clearly some occupations are considered in a different class than others. Sadly all this can lead women to believe that the predetermining factor to our sense of self worth is measured by what we do. This most of the time lead women to become detached from who they really are and from their families. A great example of this is shown in the Tyler Perry Film “Why Did I Get Married"?. Diane, a hardworking lawyer and her husband are having marital problems in which most is centered around Diane's heavy work load. Diane’s husband Terry, a well accomplished pediatrician is constantly feuding with his wife about how little time she spends with him and their child. Another issue is the fact that Terry wants more kids and Diane absolutely disagrees with having more children due to the fact that she feels it would put a strain on her career. Diane went so far as to having her tubes tied to secure the possibility of not having kids behind her husbands back. After Terry finds this out their married makes a turn for the worst. The scene that I have selected for this blog opens up with Diane rushing home after being reminded by a friend that it is her husband birthday. She comes home to another women and her husband having cake and her daughter in bed. The couple begins to argue and the scene ends with him announcing that he is moving out.

Just from this short clip from the movie we can see how over working can effect the family. 1) less time is being spent in the home for bonding, 2) space is opened up for outsiders to come in and possibly take the spot of the missing family member (that would be the wife and mother in this example) and 3) it can ultimately end in the family splitting up. Besides the effects work addiction can have on the family workaholics also suffer mentally and physically. Workaholics often suffer from something called ‘Burnout’. This is when the body can no longer take anymore strain and becomes weak. Also workaholism tends to bring with it headaches, sleep disorders, gastric problems and chronic fatigue.

The work addiction, like any of the other addictions is a difficult cycle to break. Like all the other addictions, however, it is possible. The first and most difficult step is acknowledging that you are responsible and the problem is within you, which must be resolved. This is a very difficult step and as it states in Fassel & Schaef’s article “A Feminist Perspective on Work Addiction” that “denial is subtle in that few workaholics will vehemently deny that they overwork. Instead we compare (p. 207)”. Unfortunately we as women live in a society that puts very little value on us and judges us on what we can bring to the table and although it is not right many women believe in this theory and will do everything in their will to achomplish as much as they can so they can be seen as a valuable person causing them to over work and ultimate suffer from the effects of that just as we seen with the example of Diane.